the thing about inspiration
it’s a fuckbuddy sometimes everything clicks and when I feel noticed I merge into His open lane and coast my fingers point and click to climax I type my feelings and pause ⏸
@theweesmirk Post over an hour ago something posh about the universe nick bostrom & why I can’t sleep on the phone
oh you’re still here still listening good I play favorites guess who’s mine
–LM
Wherefore my patience has died suddenly for “died suddenly” and life has taken darker shades of the latest Ari Aster film there is only safety in numbers when the numbers are deliberate & it comes with a message God I wish I came “quoteunquote” maybe it’ll come in handy later here’s a sucker
Sooner than later, you may wake up unalive and there’s no timing it, you’ve got to carry all these colorful eggs in one basket pretending the Easter Bunny is real for the children, dress our current reality up in some more rainbow penance leave Out the words “we fucked up” and push push push “here for it” quick
–LM
I departed with Barbara Walters just short of the New Year at least she was 93 what excuse do I have for being late to the party I wonder the first thought of the Mexican authority who saw a skull all wrapped up like a gift teeth spaced evenly like fake smiles on Christmas & those three astronauts abandoned to the ISS just because there wasn’t enough space the irony of the ultimate severance package
I’ve got a penchant for people who cross the collective’s path with a message
unfortunately bullets seem to enjoy the truth, too
–LM
Authors Note: glad to welcome 2023
though I don’t like the way
Google stacks the numbers
I can’t claim to have depression all I know is I’m feeling
low
right now & too often & I don’t even want to see my own reflection it makes me sick
I really try to be positive when tested
like the entire abbey of defrocked monks busted for meth
you know this disease seems sentient
hovering in the doorway can’t shake its presence so I’m self conscious when I walk with it but you’re my first welcome audience
seemingly a bad joke dressed as a warning for holy men
when there’s none to be found
would I could I should I show you the evidence
I keep collecting things I discovered by accident placed in the fast lane I’ve got my windows tinted past the legal limit serendipitous
–LM
Authors Note: I hope your pillow is cold on both sides & I’m not sorry
I’m eating breakfast for dinner wondering why all these crypto-billionaires are resetting their characters Simon says this pattern is deliberate I’m no believer of coincidence never have been I love all of those times I’m seen but never heard I like to return the favor but I’m installing boundaries instead hate to ruin the girlfriend experienceTM
I am many things to everyone & yet my family reminds me consistently they’re on the fence as to whether or not they can trust my memories when I’m not even making up stories
So far it’s not going good enough Mom is mentally ill & I can’t do anything right that’s why I immerse myself in signs & planets how fucking redundant
This is all a sham(e) like “dying unexpectedly” who knows maybe I’ll be ne
–LM
There is such a stall in the moments befor3 I hit post I’d swear it’s not a part of realityTM it feels too deja vu
people tend to like when I can go on and on and on like their favorite song until the CD skips and they have to investigate
& my intention isn’t to take advantage
of your hospitality I’m just a free spirit in a global prison system don’t be mad @ me for pointing out my inmate number
You’d think it’d be my birth date but really it’s confidential I bet you know yours I bet its tattooed on your brain
I can’t help if you’re a walking psychology report
[ ssn: XXX-XXX-XXXX
your mind filled in the blanks ]
For me every X is either a void
or they left
I don’t like making this too personal but I have nowhere to put the pain
maybe the fact is
I want you to see
call me the exhibitionist
existentialist
then call me a doctor
–LM
I never get a full night’s sleep it’s a little concerning but I’m learning to accept it after all nothing has changed since I was small & expectant or empty handed & petulant I’m telling you, nothing has really changed except my health & my hair is a little gray I can’t die down the silver in the stretch even if the weight has gone the body recalls therefore my trauma has no expiry just flash on flash on flashbacks
I am forever waiting for the other shoe
to
drop
like waiting on the reaction of a disappointed parent
the disappointment I faced
was vehement
apparent since
maybe I came into this world a villain
now I’m just fulfilling my role
I hope you’re all caught up now
I know you’re blind to the light
–LM
@first I was not nearly so impressed but I’ll fake it til I make it quite plausible I’m not hurting anyone I’m not hurting anyone (yet) not like I haven’t before according to stacker we had a one point five trillion percent chance of being born do you still think it’s a mistake did you forget your ticket stub
I am self conscious of being self conscious I’ve stripped the emperor and my echo always has been he has no clothes he has no clothes I can feel your fingers reach in and spread wrapped around any organ first warm thing it can grab just to inflict damage I know I’m not the problem I want you to be proud that isn’t ever an artifice it’s a confession I’m just one of those people that if you know you know & if you don’t you don’t
I don’t like the odds of home invasion
or uneducation
it makes me fear for our safety
because free-roam propaganda
is everywhere
eat this grease &
drink these microplastics
[responsibly]
it doesn’t matter if you get sick
were you at Camp Lejeune
between August 1953 & December 1987
you may be entitled to compensation
–LM
Turning on the eye box makes me shrink into a listless state of transience I don’t think I can take another commercial break get your two-sense in quick I gotta say I love shoving the window shut to close the wound of autumn rain telling myself I’m gotta keep my screen dry for heaven’s sake
There are car doors slamming shut|
& it’s 12:38 please tell me the men in black are miles away nobody could possibly be listening there is no way I am all that interesting I’m vacillating something is driving me something intense needs to be quelled on a daily basis eight man band[width] just like the Titanic if it never sank & guess who’s sinking this time me me me me
Don’t run around the pool you just might trip never should have gotten on this cruise ship these tremors God these tremors
I’m a little out of it
I swear I’m not on drugs
they’re bad kids, you know?
I quit the reefer and became a referee
blowing the whistle
–LM
I’m waiting for the next thing to befall & crumble me like pools of lava clean skin & drama drama drama I’m waiting for the role call & the soapbox the community boosts my immunity automatically I guess it’s a joke I’m autoimmune to rushing trains & nirvana
I’m taking a risk by telling you this but not all is on the fly I zipped wrong and I’m caught
someone once told me I have balls of steel
he loved kids more than his wife
–LM
The Lexicon 
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