Reap What You Sow

Truth is
     I meant every word
     because I’m cursed
     because the present
     is an ongoing nightmare
     and I know
     it’s only going to get worse
     from here so I’ll jump these
     randomly placed hurdles
     just for you

because
    without you
    there is nothing
    there is no identity
    there is
    No
    me
    [whatever that means]
          I wish I could hand you a brochure
       because    this world tour is looking
                                             |prettyshort|
 & I know I have the ticket to leave the ride
                                   at any time
                                  but I’m
                                 not ready
                     to stare death in the eye –
                                           yet

& it’s not like you didn’t tell me goodbye
                     & I should’ve wondered more
                                  at the time
                                  about the timing
                but life’s a prick in the same way
                         I’m a horrendous mess and
                              menace so
                       check to see|the hollows
                           in my eyes may just be
                                      [pupils] instead

 –LM