I Regret You.

I could fool myself into thinking
     everything was fate
         & it was always
          a sham & the worst part
                 was merely the time it took
                                   to know but still

       I don’t know Why it was me.
      It’s easier when I look at you like a
               masquerade mask
                  despite how your
                father’s white-raven feathers
                      cloud those sea green eyes
                  so clearly my own.

      It wouldn’t hurt so much if you caved
                  but I know you won’t/
                      [the battle worn-out coward
                            first of your name
                            I can feel their judgment
                                 the acid, the lies
                                   and the bullshit
                                            miles away

               Apparently, the definition of    
             familial love 
       is fucked up &
                  I must’ve misread it or
                       misunderstood it
                  for [enter your version here]
                         Here I was thinking:
                             love was unconditional

           Authors Note: I’ll say the words before you have a chance to. I regret you.