missing presumed lost

These wheels won’t stop turning & I think I’m in danger| most often you’ll find me absent – eyed & starbound. I need a safe-cracker. I require a warning label & a translator. I cause arguments way too often, but most aren’t hearing me right. I’m doubling down. My words absorb life & light like noumenon [molecules in a square bottle] and when I’ve worn them all out with my bad mood I’m just glad you’re still in the room; especially if it’s soundproof.

You might not know, but in this you, you saved my life. Who could have guessed it culminated to an attainable purpose?

Now I’m afraid I don’t have anything but cicatrix, pale red & tactical/ burning a hole in my dress pockets for the lost. You must be bearing discreet laurels in the world yet if____everyone feels the directive to stop, take your picture and gossip…

It’s an infinite sabbatical.


watching an exorcism on camera

This handprint on my chest is a metaphor for the ages/ who knows if I’ll butcher my own
     corrosive imaginations
         where it’s led me into such
                          writhing & mewling
             trouble before

                       I kinda like it when you’re stern
             sewing Arachne sutures meanwhile
         [teach me the hard way

I swallow nights like my chakras aren’t healthy. There are so many endeavors I seek to pursue but I can’t if you’re unreadable. Of course the sudden crash made an impact; now you’re following the blood trail as you circle back

                             & you possess me/entirely
                    Take heed:  I am your vessel.


escapist earthshine blues

These embellishments I offer you are plucked and crafted like feathered fans. The food I bring you is always edible; I just advise you take a second
        & final           glance.

After thirty one years I’ve gathered I am merely a passing phase turning forward and back page by page with people I thought would be forever. Innumerable times over… fanning flames and torching their glossaries to escape mine. Now I know why.

Time really does empty all other options. There’s but one now. I’m a pointer breed pointing out ====》

& overhead. Utterly still, magnetizing to the horizon. Ask me the question. I promise an honest answer. Don’t you see the sunrise? Maybe the sky is black in your world. Toxin and rot. Glassed like oil. Maybe I was the North star once upon a thunder moon.

Wait for the sun.


the point the purpose

know I’ve reached my limit
  when the drink is there
     but there’s only a wall
      to answer to &
         that’s why I need you
           to ground me

           I need you, to focus

is it too much?


lilith in the 3rd house

In & out of consciousness awaiting the big sleep, so I can truly rest in peace | FOR ONCE. The alarm switches on deaf ears since someday soon this will all be gone. I’ve known but I am so far from prepared, sipping mini tragedies in the aftermath of solidarity sucking on a femoral artery & smirking to myself because I am endless in my search for ‘my people’.

Here’s another crime of passion over something I said again like in my spare time I’m hunting hinting asking for it as if I’m working against myself against my better judgment but nobody told me my judgment was ordinary. Can you hear me? I’m talking too loud on purpose does the sound of being right itch your fucking eardrums? It polished my wardrums.

I’ve spent so long trying to maintain my innocence it’s making me guilty & I believe if I could set you free/ I would untether myself next and we’d look at our options while we have the chance

& seize the opportunity sooner than a heartbeat.



poised in Arkham waiting for Lovecraft

I’m afraid I’ve fallen in line
      & marched single file
      [I’m so grateful
                no one hears
                       my mind/because
           if they could they might silence it
                               ahead of its time]

       Telekinesis isn’t really
                               worth it,
     Anyway… quiet shy flippant
                           fuck-it rebel
                 wearing your routines
                         like aviators &
                               mismatching your socks
              on purpose Hoping
                     someone glugs a single word


               Even a Stepford wife
        knew there was something wrong
                    when everything was perfect
                                   without flaws
                    [  re-creating the laws
                    of physics
                              admiring my loss
                                      of gravity
          shooting for stars
                                                  fall.  ]

           Dreaming in black&white&neon
                       waiting for the sun
                            I don’t feel like I’ve slept
             focus on that later
                  drink your ice water
                        in the outskirts of Winter
                         and   release


making chaos submit

And whenever connectivity pauses
we eagerly seek
           to reclaim it
         I know there has never been
                     someone who lived so
           face/forward》 to tragedy
            emerging again & again

[I can only observe bemused
                          since only God
                    knows how you do it]


waiting for signs of life

You’d think with this blanket
tied like a cape I’d feel safe
                           for a second.

A birthday near the holidays
           turns everything to paper
                      & flame
      once they set out
                the candles.
    I’m counting thirty-one/
              measuring gray
      hoping every single one
           stays lit.
     I have one particular moment in mind.

I am alone all the time.
       I think we always were.
    Even when you’re in the room.
   I’m scanning the Indian Ocean
  admiring the view
       knowing the sun will set soon.

These colors are marvelous & so are you.


Authors Note: tongue-tied.

swallow hard.

My life has been infused with a great many romances. I should be used to the feeling; I never am. Every time is a clean slate but this one is particularly polished. In it I see my reflection, to be honest. How is it you pull the _______ from my soul and I no longer flay it? I’ve spent my life hating it. Swearing it off. It all seems designated. Fucking love tribunal. First lecture: what it means to be legendary. I guess you’re my teacher.

I never want your eyes to harden. I never want your smile to turn to steel. Now that I’ve seen the result the court holds you’re less venomous when you’re left concealed. We’re both sides of the same coin. Take a flip & measure it. I want to hear the sly in your voice: the sheer lack of surprise. I can only bait the obsession.

All in good time.


fate lost its blindfold

there is no irony
                 now that Chernobyl is caged
           this kindling world would
                catch &
                   bloom aflame

        now I’m taking shallow breaths
                 checking the time
               [     whose hands have never been
                    tied/lost for so long.     ]

           they’ve surrounded the capital now
              & its translucent rainbow edge
             I am fanatic amongst the power outage
                      stream-sniping lovers’ dreams