a new lease on life

I’m on a backlog somewhere
  reserving breakable tombstones
      for howling children
        that I don’t know,
           & have no discipline
     [there’s gotta be somewhere
       anywhere|else            to go]

                    where it’s silent as the snow
                      I wasn’t this violent
                                            before, you know
                I wasn’t this heartless
                          in an instant
                          & now. . .

I’m gone.


wake up call

& when s0briety
    smacks you

this is your long awaited welcome
    a poison kiss
       do you feel
           again / irrelevant ?

  next time the drugs will
        whisper in your ear


| × will you bare your throat

for the truth?

[it’s bitter]


unintended consequences

Don’t stop don’t stop
  I know you’re around the

Don’t stop don’t stop
  I know you’re around the bend
  & I know you’re cashing back
     -to this antique world
      where you don’t have to buckle up
       you don’t have to fit in
There is really no requirement at all
  I only have one friend to bring along
   & she walks by my side
        wherever I go, so
    you see? We both hate
                            to appease
                        this futile shabby state
  we swoop in like storm clouds
         in/over crowds
              we darken pretty canvases
        with blood, we, mavericks, all

    I make no apologies
       we shall have our relief
         through ferocity through subtlety
             through the intensity we bring
        like dynamite to someone’s door
           or a little simple radiation
              glowing off the skin
          Don’t stop





Ariel was part piranha
     that’s what Disney didn’t tell you
         about Prince Eric’s
               happy ending
              it also doesn’t describe
       nor identify who lies under the sea
              where there’s a skeleton
                    just that there was a Melody
                I’ve made my peace



I used to be made of glass
  easily shattered &
  easily spread
           like margarine
           or an unloaded magazine
    tragedy glistening
      off my lower lip

   I won’t tell you it’s really blood
   I won’t tell you it’s not mine

   Merry Mental Illness, my love!
                       Ooh, Christmas
                        Christmas. ..


the last war.

Humanity has ended
  I guess that’s what you wanted
  I guess your job is done,
  The longed sought
                                               for             task
           is done, and you can breathe again

           standing in the ruins I have to say
               I hate you for this_____

        dwelling in the nightmare ending
        screaming this is no thanks to you
        This is all of our fault.
        These burnt atrophied corpses lay
                      in perfect lines for what?

the resistance

A retaliatory slant
  stinging in your blood
   keeping your mouth

  you hear warnings before
      you find sleep & rest does
                                   not come simply
       there’s only you and us is
            never    lost to afterthought
              souls bind and dancers fail
            to keep up with the music ringing
                  [ in the background ]
                       start wishing you
                                          had a ticket to
                                                  the show

              we’re all actors on stage
                 but when the curtain falls
                     the mask comes off

           the subtle hatred that there was
               ever a need for one persists


opossum without eyes

I don’t want to get bit
  so I stay on the fence
  this headache splits me
               [in threes]
           lead poisoning
        from all your bullets
             more holes than
         Swiss cheese
     more scars unseen

[it’s worse than demon possession]



the knots in my hair are
  indicative of the one in my chest
  I keep getting snared
I plead where do I draw the line
    how do I convince myself
    to keep on | keeping on when
    there’s so little incentive
                  much littler time
                  I blink/it flies
    & yes there needs to be some,
               just to change my mind/
                    I’ve suffered enough/
    if you don’t agree, you’re in line
   with my maker, what luck!
they must not agree with me either
         start counting my blessings
                                                          for me
the first being I’m alive
         the living are selfish
         maybe one eye blind
         I’m just fine with that assessment
         I blink___________


death december

my heart shaped box is
       satin indigo violet, dark
        but beautiful, silky|smooth
  like baby flesh
            your fingers graze the net
      some time

            green is my favorite color
       & not for everything it affords
             nor is jealous for
         but for how it compliments
            me when you stare for
                too long,

        ask to remove the lid
            and I’ll respond the same in
                            there’s only so many
                      hours in a day
                                       needless to say
                      I can’t guarantee much time

        I’ve got a sordid rep & two widowed
                grandmothers in twenty days
           I can only hope I’m not next in line
        I can’t speak for November and I was
     blind waiting for winter that
         I suppose now I’ll have to reclaim
             this black December as mine

            we’re all nervous souls gripping for
      people to hold in the dark online
               the anxiety kills me
     I didn’t think my birthday would be
            spent in black for this reason
         disaster was flirtatious now
              its given me its recipe
           if you find me in the dark
           hold me still … maybe
               for a split second this world
        will stop spinning