the omphalos

in a banquet hall I overhear soldiers
    talk of near death experiences
      & phantom kings on their doorstep

                      masked by wings

@ 3AM I’m literally hoping/
          & I’d be unsurprised if
   [beneath the crown]

             it was you
                      the whole time


octopus dreaming

Mouth squelched shut
   tasting my tongue
     there there little bird
       finders won’t keep you

        Tie off five trash bags
                     full of yesterday’s lunch

               I know I can’t manage
                              plating the rest 》

                          but I’ll contemplate the life
                                of underwater geniuses
                                           changing color
                                                changing shape

         A little green I could never be
            & have never been comparative


the crime scene.

I got a sweet tooth
  and I can taste your blood sugar
    never knew stars could align

            I’m waiting for flashing lights
                 & rebel music
                      to mark your entrance
        but I know you’re ecstatic in darkness
          palms out/fingers stretched
                  pulling smart strings
       like piano wire

                       and when they press
     choke the surrogate | leave the child
                     we were born
                                   before the sun


how demons are made.

TW: suicide mentioned

I am aware that I am doomed & out of order
      a misplaced|misnomer|disappointed
for all my efforts
    have taken me nowhere:

      I know what got me
               to this place.

 Picking fireflies off of the concrete
  bigger than I expected to be
     I feed the spiders you kill.

My lot was inherited. I think this is hell. I sleep in tiny increments. I am not guilty yet I was captured and released to fail. I don’t have the strength to be angry anymore. My creativity doubles as a death sentence, rest in peace assured these words are my investment. I wrote my name on God’s dotted line. When they find me they will not check for prints. They’ll label it suicide.

I know as long as I live
   I’ll never forget how much I hate it here


machine elf.

There’s been so many instances of humiliation in my life it’s obscene &


with experience I can promise you for all intents & purposes you’ve never met a more empathetic tragedy and will never come upon again
                 someone like me

                     better yet



It thrills me
    biblically accurate
      angels are jawdropping


            existent in & outside of time____

   that if you saw one
        frozen in your stupor
   the first thing it would say
               is “be not afraid



Scientists are satisfied
   there’s INvisible barriers
     into space
    just not strong enough
      to keep love from love

    It makes me laugh
       for spite



Pay attention here!


sand your skull down to tissue paper and thread over the course of two weeks, in search of something that you might never reach. pace back and forth, talk on the phone. smile and nod, set the weight down on the table when you walk out the door. buckle beneath its weight as soon as you get home. feel it in your gut, shifting and squirming. in the ache of your spine, the creaking of your knees. learn about tragedies, how the darkness will only sting if the reader sees the sun, and define life aross the pathways of your veins. every night, you lie awake, and every morning you rise with the sun. do it for love, or money. or a half-baked chance at survival. go swimming in your sorrows, dress them up in bows and ribbons. eat dirt for breakfast and lunch in hope of forgiveness that may…

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love letter to Thanatos

I can sense your mission like the plague waiting to see if someone senses your apathy for what’s beyond

    I sense we are on same level even if the difficulty you chose is different
    We play the same simulation

     & now I can hear the scream of the crescendo
          dampened by wandering hands &
            mischievous eyes over the borders
         of your mark

   We speak the same language in the right tone/
     we sing along
         & when we reach the right lyric
        we ascend