baby monitor.

All my drafts are gone
  it’s a decision I made
   in a flint of desperation
    I can’t regret it
    I don’t regret a thing now
      my demeanor is stoic

   Hold your lips shut [please close ’em
                 real fast just hold your tongue
                  I have something to say]

   》   right now is a bad time
          though/ honestly there’s no good
             time to say goodbye
             and I don’t want to ruin your night

         I’ll listen to the newborn cry
         at least I can relate
         just wait just wait baby
            you’ll be pacified
                  with             time


the mental museum.

“Stop dropping expensive devices, Lauren,”
   is a metaphor for my conduct lately,
     glazing the contents of my heart
       onto my freshly washed sleeve

  [& it’s bloody, call nine-one-one
      strong, a sort of Maker’s Mark
         I’ve drunk presently …
     it’s powerfully potent
       like you in a glass-artifact bottle]

    I obliterated my phone screen this time
       it looks like I took aim and fired
         fuck these concrete steps, too/
           & the wayward chill
              I won’t miss this location

I won’t miss this location


         I’ll take the main feature with me
           wherever I go,
             something like the Mona Lisa,
    my winged Victory of Samothrace 
             but with its beautiful head



I had two hours of sleep
  I’m starting to come to the conclusion
    that there’s  [something wrong
                             with me, but| I snake
                                through the front door &
                                  still my nerves dance
                                     the tarantella]
   it’s raining
     and it’s not that I forgot an umbrella
      I don’t have one___ I’m listening
       to love songs, they haunt me like
        wanting you___ it never ends
                this widow on my calf
                   a w a k e n s


the eve of eviction

endurance is a kind of patience
  like watching leaves fall
                                       & flutter
                                       like feathers
                                       back to

           I’m never saying goodbye
             now that you introduced
                 yourself / there’s a gift
                         in transit:
                I can’t be anywhere else

I have to have it
I’m stuck to your side
like Eve and I’ll give a rib
just to be near you
            infatuation isn’t the half of it

tuck and roll

here’s why two and two
  don’t make four per usual
     the compound:
           they may be twenty two
             they may be two × two
              they may be matrices
                                which in all three cases
                                     stand individually

now this is more thinking out|
      loud               》                  side
                at 3 o’clock because
                   I can’t sleep &
                       I’m sorry
                         I just

after you
                      too much


authors note: see you when it’s appropriate to say good morning

the tale

there’s no dragon up here
   & I find I am always awake
                oft alone though
     I think I see where you were
                     in my lofty window
        check the prints your hands left
                                 on the stone

       it’s cold isn’t it
         maybe you’d require a monsters fire
                                     to bake your insides
                                           & keep you warm

                       I can guarantee the ignition
                         phoenix have nothing on
                            sideways princes
                   even less on a corrupt princess
                   without a coin left to her name
                         just lyrics


a new lease on life

I’m on a backlog somewhere
  reserving breakable tombstones
      for howling children
        that I don’t know,
           & have no discipline
     [there’s gotta be somewhere
       anywhere|else            to go]

                    where it’s silent as the snow
                      I wasn’t this violent
                                            before, you know
                I wasn’t this heartless
                          in an instant
                          & now. . .

I’m gone.


crouched near mass transit

my grey matter self harms|

I’m going straight
      to Hell
      with my father
       my fixation
        & my complaint
   HR wears a face I can’t see
                           [it’s too dark]

                           I can only spy the peek
                and it’s staring back at me
                now if only
                               if                      only.
                                 it was listening

 because everything I’ve discovered lately
            has been maddening
            & I am possessed by obsession

  return to flannel
    christened/dusted by snowflakes
       which fall as fast
           as I did for you
in no time at all//
    foraging for portals
       & scavenging for wormholes
              I am ravenous
               for what’s eternal



I could watch [this movie] forever
  one where you’re a main character
    people believe you’re famous,
     because you were born ace-high,

conjuring coyote magic

with your eyes/
paint the sun again & send it
   so I can see the world in a new light
      once more


this is Rome

Where are all the gods
  where are the liberators
      staring up & it’s staring back
        emotionless fucking fervor
  like the sky is pacified
       I need your arms
       I won’t lie [but]
       |tongue tied you are

     my favorite masochist
     we’re a faint dynamic
     of equal bodies & equal hearts
     rivalling experience like a video game
     counting trophies

    a hundred thousand
 |   paralleled. |

     I would ask where were you
     but I know I did that already
     I know I did that
     Constantly and
     I’m not keeping track or looking
     back behind me tallying bodies yet
     old songs recite in my head
     recite| sing
     sing well