Monroe haunts my subconscious

I’m a machination of perversion for some,
           I guess I asked for it
      because my words writhe
             pale & seductive
      and the voice you hear
               is feminine

          These safeguards are for nothing
     this love, I have a lot of
          though I’m not sure of

a lot

                     call me a stickler for details

                      I want to be good [enough]
          please tell me so,
       it’ll help, but everyone knows

even Marilyn didn’t want to be Monroe


the way you might prefer

I listen like an unpaid therapist
    all worth the pieces of heart
                            I place
                @ your discretion
                          in my back

grant me access

         my palm rolls over a blanket
   the way it would the small of your back

[my only regret]

              electricity in your nerve endings
        would not appear visibly
                       the static lightning I’d long to see
                  hidden from view

              like our touches in the darkness


snapshots & skeptics

The thing I scoff of body positivity
  is that my body has never been positive
      to me
              just stubbornly

           I can’t shake the irony
               but I think I haven’t run
     afoul of minute minutes yet
             prepaid life & heteronyms


browsing Twitter @ 110 AM

I saw a man dancing with an alligator in the water & instantly thought of my own wedding
            [ that hasn’t happened ]
            where everyone I know in the future will say how beautiful I was on that day
        [because it’s social etiquette
            like telling a pregnant woman
               despite how she feels
                 she glows]

        I think even then a dark cloud
                      will hover
       rolling over flowers & bakery favorites
                                        ingesting joy & tears
                                                  of happiness

                all the while the bride
       in some kind of white
              has a bite force of 2,980 psi


ticket #250654

Turning on the eye box makes me shrink into a listless state of transience I don’t think I can take another commercial break get your two-sense in quick I gotta say I love shoving the window shut to close the wound of autumn rain telling myself I’m gotta keep my screen dry for heaven’s sake

      There are car doors slamming shut|
    & it’s 12:38 please tell me the men in black are miles away nobody could possibly be listening there is no way I am all that interesting I’m vacillating something is driving me something intense needs to be quelled on a daily basis eight man band[width] just like the Titanic if it never sank & guess who’s sinking this time me me me me

              Don’t run around the pool you just might trip never should have gotten on this cruise ship these tremors God these tremors

       I’m a little out of it
          I swear I’m not on drugs
              they’re bad kids, you know?

I quit the reefer and became a referee

blowing the whistle


fortune befriends the bold and so do I

there are many roads I long to travel to end nestled in your arms & it never stops
      I bury this need in my flesh

before it burns me alive
                I can’t taste anything

without taste of you
                     I can barely hear the sounds of the world
                   if your voice doesn’t carry
           & you don’t penetrate to lead
                I’m exploring head first under deep surf
                    It can get pretty reckless,
       this feeling like I’m about to implode
               I just need the trigger
                           p u l l e d

                                 myself stretched
               & tested
                         to where bounds have none
                                     replaying a version
                     of loves reunion
                             again & again & again
         for all time


the fourteen year old Pocahontas

I’m waiting for the next thing to befall & crumble me like pools of lava clean skin & drama drama drama I’m waiting for the role call & the soapbox the community boosts my immunity automatically I guess it’s a joke I’m autoimmune to rushing trains & nirvana

         I’m taking a risk by telling you this but not all is on the fly I zipped wrong and I’m caught
              someone once told me I have balls of steel
                he loved kids more than his wife


answers to crucifixion

I was supposed to die today
     my conscience warned me so;
         but today isn’t over yet
            so if I have to spend my last hours
      rummaging around in a chicken box
    I may as well be searching for Christ

                            I know the egg came before


a hazy dream glinting as it evaporates

I wish like hell sometimes I was on drugs
   I wish like hell sometimes they weren’t
          so go ahead and call me high,
       like PawPaw said but I’m waving @ you

I know I’m a handful

       and you’ll need a handful
      but it’s all good, I can carry your weight
        in fact I much prefer it these days
           & that goes without saying
      how familiar this horizon appears,

              like an archway in a painting
        of the house of your dreams,
                the one I’d be blissful to give,
        Nearly, my God;


the open space on the bed where I sleep

I terrify myself when I let go and spray emotional bullets like an AK
      I try to hide the rage
            everything I project I’ve seen before
                   like a child

        maybe that’s where the Lexicon
                has its origin

        maybe I rake the leap;
            pile leaves in fall waiting
       for the mask to release
           I’ve grown so defensive I don’t let it slip for a second
              everything you see is an act I cheated my homework in survival class

I had a vindictive teacher
         the only skill I taught myself that I’m proud of
            I know I could be a great negotiator

                the person you read
       is insane
              &kept awa[ke]y

               please don’t damage the porcelain
                         we have guests