tell me I’m wrong I dare you

I am searching for stars
   surrounded by concrete
     bricks & bricks of
     low key   degradation

   Watching you pretending to sip tea
  chattering phosphorus
      so much you make me believe
               this matters

           & it matters
             because you don’t understand
       what I do moment to moment
        and silently I gotta say I’m in love

             I tell you with no confusion
            & maybe you’re losing it
      but while I’m here
              you’ll always have a safety net

    I promise you that


never fade.

At the end of it all
    I hate my humanity
       & its easy failings
           I hate the concept
             of perfection

       & what it stands for
            admiring from a distance
             everything and more
               when it comes to you


personality construct

The cello pulls me in
    to the way your Silverhand strings
                                    his       guitar
                      & maybe the painting
            of us is just a story arc

   but the truth is the song
                            where lyrics are born
                     in blood, sweat and palpitation
            your heart is the instrument

                          to which I pledge allegiance


the hiss of the word selfish

This migraine is pooling my temple like a gunshot wound or Lake Berryessa. Sinking into the bone. Staying awake just doesn’t make sense after ten, once the bell has tolled and the towel has been thrown. The tension would ease permanently if you were present now. That’s certain.

There’s a bottle in the freezer half-gone, one step out the front door like I always am. I’ve got a death grip on your coat just so I can withstand the chaos & for a second, stand upright again. I’m waiting for the lights. Always spectacularly Moulin Rouge red.

Most often I’m tuning out; I’m out of range. Though I’ve lost my Janus-face long ago nothing has changed. Why does it feel like I always have to call the doctor tomorrow? Why is it I always feel afraid? Is anyone else this barricaded? I’m outlining chalk around the body of evidence as we speak.


as if language wasn’t invented by someone

I’m on my toes wondering what you’ll come up with next needlessly praying up and down your ingeniousness doesn’t ever end. I know I’ll get my wish. Your aesthetic is bellicose yet vellichor, where ancients barter; this confuses everyone on a cellular level. Everyone except me.

Between us one kiss could last a series of lifetimes we’ve already lived. Let me put down the genie’s bottle; we don’t need him.

These dusky nights come with the rain attached & daytime wouldn’t need a sun if you were dispatched. By and for you my world is aglow. The best and brightest thing about this bond is I don’t need a response to know.


old coins over my lips for Charon

I contemplate death
    more often
      in a state of panic

          when I’m embarrassed

        I wager bets against the clock
           & when I don’t drop
               I cash in

        it’s like life is grinning
          and when I’m set on living
      something fatal will finally happen


the taste of six pomegranate seeds

I’m awake alone aside myself
        instead of astride you
              feeling like Jackie O
                   clawing for moments
                       she can’t reverse

          and now I am utterly obsessed
     with flickers of naked power
               emerged in cunning lights
            [ immortals ] & the way they sound
        when they’re pleased//
            molding beauty to fit the narrative
                    your lost art award, glassblower,
                       is your own pulchritude

           & I digress to trespass flagrantly
                       a r|e\ck->le/ss show of respect
                 trading love transparently
         in the sun, and when it sets
                night falls, and in any and all


                      There is you


a girl dreams in grey

Karma holsters its weapon
    under the nebulous gaze
         of the anti/
                            solidify ratio
         [Ad infinitum]

  picking battles
         as her father warned
       she should do wisely

                 choices we didn’t want to make
             but would’ve regretted anyway
                               should’ve seen it coming

sometimes successfully
                       in an unnerving
                   anti universal scenario
             we eradicated all obstacles
                  & freed the world
                           from its shackles

                               unbinding in the dark


elbow deep

Last night I don’t remember
          watching the stars
                   just you

      A shade swathed
in deep cognac tones
      still burned into my brain
              milliseconds before
     fading into shadow

Cardboard bodies burn

               &      tentatively
          I don’t remember reaching for more

               but I believe it



Johnny come lately is a showrunner
       & the same Johnny on the spot
             showed right on time

     there are hours I can’t retrieve
        more or less I believe
            it’s the synergy