death december

my heart shaped box is
       satin indigo violet, dark
        but beautiful, silky|smooth
  like baby flesh
            your fingers graze the net
      some time

            green is my favorite color
       & not for everything it affords
             nor is jealous for
         but for how it compliments
            me when you stare for
                too long,

        ask to remove the lid
            and I’ll respond the same in
                                               kind
                            there’s only so many
                      hours in a day
                                       needless to say
                      I can’t guarantee much time

        I’ve got a sordid rep & two widowed
                grandmothers in twenty days
           I can only hope I’m not next in line
        I can’t speak for November and I was
     blind waiting for winter that
         I suppose now I’ll have to reclaim
             this black December as mine

            we’re all nervous souls gripping for
      people to hold in the dark online
               the anxiety kills me
     I didn’t think my birthday would be
            spent in black for this reason
         disaster was flirtatious now
              its given me its recipe
          
           if you find me in the dark
           hold me still … maybe
               for a split second this world
        will stop spinning

–LM