Lo’ and behold,
You do as you’re told
and the consequence
remains the same.

Poor lamb. You shine outdoors
seeking hope in stars
because they fill the cavern
you made when you said “shame”.

Don’t you Ever want to start over?

Don’t you Ever want to turn back time?

Little defeats, apocalyptic defeats,
Nomadic retreat into yourself &
Ask yourself this;

Do you think even
If the outcome were shifted. . .
even the slightest
You still would’ve been
Who you are &
what you are


Stress is getting the better of me
Whatever that means
[Nothing’s Even Happening]

(Can’t breathe)

Taptaptapping on a tiny window with tiny curtains and mice with a mark for death

Sedatives to combat the persistent
fright/a very long night
[Fight or Flight]

Endless fatigue & a small space to sleep
Thoughts I can’t even express

But you get me; right?



The Recipe

My forearms still ache from the way
I held them
In place,
Counterclockwise from alcohol


You said, I want you like this:
On the bed when I come in,
(I’ll be a few minutes,
to wash the dishes)

Down the hall_____
In the dark, where no one but
the nightlight could see
&as the short minutes passed I felt
A blooming excitement

then finally the pads of your feet,
the sigh (or was it, groan)
when you finally entered the mix

Sometimes, following the directions
are more enjoyable than you thought

The Rent

I dove inside and wondered the very reason
As/to why I
broke the surface (to begin with)
Why not sooner why not smoother?

Something taps me every time
And every night I fall into foam

Fingers strained & aching and
They’re not /burning/ there’s
liquid Nitrogen in these veins
Damn this place is Cold

This basement I now call home
& the children run and scream upstairs
my havoc is loneliness

Yet I enjoy the freedom
to cry as long and hard as I like
[You’d never know the difference]