Checking Out

A lucky discovery! Or more
likely a lackluster recovery so
resilient, vehemently infectious—-

Believe it is indeed an affront
for all my affections… well,
I can’t spell it out it’s too dangerous
& I can’t scream it out it won’t exit

Is it normal or abnormal I’m undecided
Obsession suppression or aggression
I’m crammed way down inside it///
These words won’t bereave_______me,

You can.


(Authors Note: running with live wires at 4 AM)


I’ve always been taught to
survive by any means necessary
but the efficacy of that jab
hasn’t been sufficently tested
on people like me

So I’ll stay indoors
& remain ashore/ indeed,
masks strapped to earth’s
decadent carousel

You need a body to experience
this circuit circus comprised
of crayon colors and politics

I’d have to say more than once
I’ve contemplated tearing my ticket

But I’ve got to live with it


(Authors Note: everything is going wrong)


once more I barely sleep
& when I do dream its suspiciously

/still trying to grasp
if any [the meaning]

and if there’s one?
it’s not & never peaches and cream
fuck the sickly sweet



a sensual hold on my waist
as his body led the dance
whispering low if he’ll have a chance
refuted it with silence

finally opened my maw &
revealed myself
though all my pointed teeth shone
in the lowered light I could tell

he wasn’t ready for Hell



under the skull
there lie the monsters// in memories, alabaster fingertips dipped in papercuts,
shivering over duplicitous piano keys
& smears of blood

there lies my great patience
in the soulless quiet
threads of thin fate trickling


Chronically Ill

Shame decorates my face
like henna &
bitterness poisons my blood
the pressure is sometimes
Inexplicable but always fucking

When I reflect on my inner world
& how it has not
changed from this sparkling fantasy
to what it’s really supposed to be
The reality is that
I am running mazes constantly

How plain can it get?
My music bursts the eardrums. . .
it furls the tongue ///
& I would never wish this on Anyone



Thermal transactions &
flesh to flesh couplings
amidst a frozen body
Silent, still, frostbit

Somehow, some way,
not a limb has melted
& despite the flame of life
Raging, surrounding
this saccharine morgue

the lips are purple
eyes as blue
as my skin